Last week I had a cataract removed on my right eye and a new multifocal intraocular lens was inserted. I am now seeing without glasses even though my left eye is yet to be corrected.
So many things that I’m seeing now that I was not able to see before. All of a sudden I see I have a suspicious looking freckle on my left eyebrow that I never saw before. I went to the dermatologist to get it taken care of. It was precancerous but I never even saw it.
Which gets me to wonder how many things did I not see because my vision was faulty. Of course, being who I am, I do not mean this on a purely physical level. What if the reality that I think is real is just a product of a distorted vision? How would I even know that I’m not seeing clearly while in the midst of not seeing clearly? It is only because I had a correction that I now know that I didn’t see clearly. How much of my “seeing” might be faulty and I just assume I’m seeing things as they really are?
This is a good question and it is hard, if not impossible to know. How can I know what I don’t know? But the asking makes me question all that I think I know. I think the only thing that I can know for sure are not the perceptions of my mind but rather the perceptions of my soul. There is a place in me that “knows” which is not of my mind. This place of knowing, this “still, small voice” is the only voice I really trust. I know when I’m bullshitting myself or not. I try to have a very finely tuned bullshit detector (which my daughter frustratingly! has inherited and uses it on me often). I can discern the difference between my “chatter” thoughts and those that come from a place of knowing. It’s not that easy to describe this in language, and I really dislike using jargon. I am hoping that those who understand what I’m talking about will understand. For those who don’t, I’m sorry, because I find that language is an imperfect vehicle to describe what I’m talking about. How do you explain what colors are to a blind person? How do you explain spiritual knowing to someone who has not accessed that part of themselves?
So to those who know what I’m talking about, I throw out a challenge. Question what you think you know and ask if these thoughts are really true or just “mind chatter”. Are you really seeing clearly? Are you requiring a correction? This is of course an open-ended question and doesn’t require an answer. Just food for thought.
Musings of a Jewish Mom 